Life after… ORD LOH!

Hi everyone! I’m back to blogging after a long break. I’m definitely more excited to write once again and share with you what to expect next for this blog.

Bye NS

On 3rd Nov 2021, I’ve officially ORD-ed! It feels bittersweet honestly. Whilst I celebrate the return of my own freedom and sovereignty, somehow I still miss the place and the people I’ve came across. One thing for sure though – I won’t do it again.

Although 1 year 10 months don’t seem a lot as compared to 2 – 4 years of school, the many different experiences made NS feel like a long, long time. In my previous post, I’ve already took a trip down memory lane, so I won’t want to rehash the same stories over again.

Instead, I’ll like to give my final thoughts about my experience and my overall view of NS. I think this will give a proper closure to another phase of life before moving forward to bigger things.

To set some context to my viewpoints, let me first mention about my naive pre-NS days that I’ve not written much before…

Prequel to NS

Right after A levels, I had just a month left to enlistment. It was painful knowing the limited time I have to roam freely. But it also got me more serious thinking about NS… How is NS gonna be for me? Or how do I want my NS to be like? Fun? Terrible…? Challenging?

I still remember one of my JC classmates told me this:

In NS, you either chiong or you keng

– JC friend (anonymous)

To explain further, he said every NSF will fall into 2 camps. Camp A is for the chiong sua. These people have the mindset they want to try hard and make the best of NS. Some will also wayang to get what they want. On the other hand, Camp B is for the chao keng. They just want to quickly be done and over with NS, and some will find all sorts of ways to be “medically” excused from their NS duties.

Although this is a very basic way of summarising the typical NSF thinking, I think it has a lot of truth to it. Prior to enlistment, I really thought it’ll be so cool to be in combat vocations and even more as a commander. So I told myself that I wanted to live out the best army life and make these two years count. Yes, I was a member of Camp A. I was that committed to even set goals. Right from the start, I knew I had to prove myself.

Unfortunately…

Turned out I was as lost and as blur like many others. Ironically, I passed out from BMT with a rep as a troll who fooled around and screwed things up. However, somehow I was still posted to cadet school for specialists or SCS.

Proud I was, I thought this was a new opportunity to redeem myself and to try hard again. But at a certain point, owing to a couple of unpleasant experiences in SCS, I started to contemplate the effort I put in for NS – was it worth it at all? Should I even care so much? I was on the fence.

Unit – I made up my mind

Fast forward to a year left to ORD, I was posted back to my mono infantry unit as a commander. Now with a 3SG rank, I thought life would become better. Instead, unit life was one hell of a ride. Becoming a commander didn’t entitle me with more welfare as I had hoped. It came with more responsibilities. I came in having no choice but to assume the role as a Platoon Sergeant (PS). I felt it was kind of funny it was even entrusted to me, given that I wasn’t a capable leader nor an outstanding soldier in SCS. Then reality struck, having people to care for, weekend duties, lack of sleep, countless outfields and still getting f*cked plenty of times… That was when I truly felt the weight of responsibilities I had to shoulder.

Then, I came to a realisation it didn’t matter how I felt towards NS. Yes, I can hate NS as much as I want. But ultimately my duties came before self. Regardless how shitty I was, I still had to fulfil my role. No one else is going to do my job for me. So I really rolled with this mentality to survive the remaining dreadful year in unit.

Time really flew past here. I couldn’t believe the day I was in camp for the last time to collect my pink IC. All the seemingly endless amount of crazy shit that has transpired for the past 1 year 10 months is over?! Unbelievable.

What I took away…

Ask majority of NSFs and the common perception of NS is that it’s a waste of time. Whilst I agree it could be better spent, but that doesn’t discount some values and skills that can be developed in these two years. I’m not referring to technical ones, such as handling your rifle, executing drills and commands. Instead, I’m talking about soft skills and character. For example, the ability to communicate, lead others, show empathy and display professionalism and resilience. Sounds fluffy but I feel NS provides a fail-proof conducive environment to cultivate these attributes with fewer risks compared to the working world. And these traits no doubt translate well into the real world.

On responsibility

Honestly, I only fully grasp the concept of responsibility in NS. Someone could have responsibilities, but he or she could still be irresponsible. I’m sure almost everyone has encountered someone like this, whether it is at work, school or home. Personally, I have met a fair share throughout my stint in SAF. And it’s no wonder many grew resentful towards these people, when they are not delivering what they are expected to do.

This expectation only started to dawn upon me when I became a commander back in unit. With a year left to ORD, deep down I just wanted to be done and over with NS. I just couldn’t be interested to do anything extra at that point. But thinking about the people that I had to answer to and how hateful of a person I would become, I still had to get the job done. Now I understand – having responsibilities is merely superficial: the appointment, the rank and that cool title. But owning them is different. It is about taking charge and having accountability towards the duty presented before you.

Managing people? Not so easy…

I think with that comes the stress of managerial positions – carrying the responsibility to help others succeed. When success is not about succeeding alone, but succeeding as a team. And often, personal sacrifices are necessary. As a commander in NS, I usually found myself having meetings and working late into the night during rest hours. I really felt I didn’t have sufficient ‘me time’ to pursue my own interests. Almost every week was so hectic that I eventually decided to take a hiatus from a few personal commitments like blogging and volunteering at the start of 2021. I truly learnt that once you assume leadership, it’s not only about you anymore. Others serve you and you’re also in service to them.

Not everything will go your way

Another key lesson I took away was that life isn’t going to be fair. Likewise in NS, it’s never fair. At times, I personally had thoughts comparing my life in infantry to that friend who got to stay out everyday. And also that one guy whose vocation was to book into camp to sleep — si bei zuo bo. Then I kept asking why and how did this happen to me? I really felt like shit over how unfortunate I was.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

– Theodore Roosevelt

Truth is there’s no end in comparing yourself to others – you always end up a loser. I feel it’s human nature to only look at what others have that one doesn’t, whilst often overlooking what one has that others don’t. This innate biasness makes it seem there is always someone out there who is much better and more successful than you are. Similarly, while you may think you’re better than others, it might very well be a sense of inadequacy that compels you to devalue others to feel better about yourself.

Deep down, feelings of envy and jealousy reveal a layer of insecurity that something is lacking or being threatened. By reframing this positively, it manifests the desire to acquire or develop something that one wants, which could lead to a more ideal life. So what matters then is how you interpret these emotions and respond accordingly.

I honestly don’t think there is a stop to thoughts of comparison. But you can change the way you think about them. Instead of seeing one another as competitors, focus on how others can be role models to learn from and emulate. I feel this is a emotionally healthy approach that humbles oneself into believing that there is still capacity to improve oneself rather than being trapped into negative self-talk. This can transmute negative emotions of envy and jealousy into positive energy for self-betterment.

Given that playing the comparison game is already inevitable, let’s play it right. Think possibilities, rather than limitations. And as cliché as it sounds, make the best with the cards you’re dealt with.

Everyone sees things differently

On an organisational level, I realised it’s common for everyone to hold different viewpoints on the same things because of the difference in roles, responsibilities and motivations. How one sees something may be completely different from how somebody else perceives it. In my NS experience as a recruit and cadet, I would lament how dogshit life was doing saikang over and over again… I couldn’t see any significance beyond mere labour. After I became a commander, when I actually had to tell my guys to do stuff that I hated before, I could better empathise and appreciate the bigger picture as to why some things have to be done though ridiculous they may seem. The fact that there’s always someone above in the hierarchy to answer to left me no choice but to make it clear that everyone has their own responsibilities to fulfil even if work feels undesirable. I believe when every person is aware of what he or she has to do, everybody would be aligned to the same objective, and there would be respect and trust in the way the management runs the team. Being able to think from different perspectives of various stakeholders at different echelons overall helped me to be more understanding and open-minded, and how best to work together as a team.

Don’t get personal for too long

Lastly, not taking things too personally was one of the greatest life advice I got from army. In NS, I cannot imagine the number of times I was dropped in front of the whole company. Those were extremely embarrassing and traumatising moments… Often, I felt indignant and incompetent. But they taught me to find out what went wrong the hard way — Could I have made a better choice? Could I have done my job properly? Then, I realised it’s no different in the real world. I’m probably going to make wrong decisions, f*ck up even more and go through more real and more dire situations. I guess the beauty of all this chaos is still having control over my response to these circumstances. Perhaps that manager, driving instructor, coach, tutor etc might nag, tell you off or maybe even insult you. Things certainly gonna suck for a period of time. But what is crucial is having the resilience to not let yourself be defined by your mistakes and possessing the courage to take another shot. I’m glad I have some experience to handle my emotions better and fail forward.

The End…

And there we go… the final piece to the jigsaw puzzle! The Diary of a NSF. In total I’ve written 4 posts on my NS journey from a chao recruit to wgt owadio. I never expected to write so much or give so much thought about NS. Whilst I hated NS for taking my time and freedom away, it nevertheless has been an enlightening experience with unexpected opportunities and benefits such as

1. Meeting great people

I got to know many cool people that I would never have cross path with if it were not for NS. From angkongs and smokers to scholars and elites of different races and religions, the diversity was vast.

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During tough periods like outfields and mission exercises, when I had to look beyond differences to work together, I discovered the fondest memories and friendships. Especially within my platoon, the shared shitty experiences were the times I would remember the most.

2. Basic needs covered

Many NSFs would complain about how low their allowance is. However the simplest things the army provides, like food and accommodation, can be taken for granted. Compared to $0, I now spent about $200 on food and transport every month. If I had to contribute to paying utilities, the costs would increase significantly.

The most attractive perk is the almost full medical coverage just by flashing your NS Identity Card. A consultation with your private GP can be claimed for a maximum reimbursement of $20; a visit to public hospitals A&E and polyclinic is fully subsidised. For public or private dental services, you only have to pay 15% of the cost. For completely free treatment, just drop by your unit’s medical centre.

NS is a good time to discover underlying conditions you never knew you have. From wisdom tooth, ligament tears, slipped discs to mental conditions, with the mighty status as an NSF, your treatment will be fully subsidised. The savings are insane – two wisdom tooth surgeries including consultations can cost up to $1.3k. For mine, I went through the polyclinic route and paid only $18 after subsidy.

Do make use of these privileges while you can!

3. Good $

Don’t know what to do during your break after ORD? Want some good money? Just sign a Short-Term Contract (STC). Although more readily available for commanders, call centres are now offering STCs for all ranks in this COVID climate. For living the life you’ve been used to for a couple more months, you can earn the attractive pay of a regular, which is about $2k and above per month. Such well-paying job is an opportunity worth thinking about.

Final message…

Did I regret the path I took? I honestly think it doesn’t matter that much. Sure my life might’ve been bad but all’s well that ends well. I’m sure the amount of NS stuff I wrote proved I’ve at least learnt something. And I feel I’ve grown and emerged a wiser person. Regardless which camp you fall into, I believe there’s always something to take away.

Frankly, NS was loads of shit to suck up. But it was still bittersweet leaving behind the place and the people that you have built a sense of attachment to. Of course, everyone’s NS experience will be different.

For those serving, may you find the best friends, best memories, best experience. The best advice I was told was to go in with an open mind. No point wasting time being disgruntled. Even if you end up hating everything, know that ORD will come eventually 😉 .

And for those who stuck on this far even though NS is a foreign concept to you, thanks for tolerating my lengthy views, rants and stories… I sincerely hope you found some insights that are beneficial to you.

Game plan

Wow, two years have past since I enlisted… NS really took away a huge bulk of time huh? At least now I get to enjoy the longest break in my entire 20 years being alive — not just your typical year-end holidays but almost a gap year! While I still can cherish this precious time to myself, here’s a concise summary of the plan ahead for 2022 in just 5 points:

1. Last post about NS stuff

ORD LOH! Where got time for NS already? Yes this post serves as a closure. I understand not everyone reading this is an NSF or NSman. I also don’t want to be that one guy who keeps talking on and on about NS. While NS might be a common topic to share with guys, I’ll hate it if conversations mainly revolve around time in the army. It’ll be great to move on to more engaging and inclusive conversations that everyone — guys and girls that do not serve — can relate as well.

2. Season 2 Blogging release date TBC???

To date, I don’t have any plans to develop this blog further for these coming months. I just felt like blogging in view of ORD and the new year. Otherwise this blog will pretty much remain on an OTOT (own time own target) basis i.e. I post whenever I feel like it 🙂 . Hopefully, I will have a clearer idea of what to do with this blog… but I don’t know when will that be.

3. Focusing on other interests

So with the blog becoming mostly inactive, for the rest of this break, I will be spending it on furthering my interests related to music, fitness and food. Big plans ahead…!

Other 20%? Just time for myself to explore new things and to also enjoy and relax before living the student life again. Activities like volunteering, personal finance and IT are areas that I’m looking into now. And when wanderlust strikes, I’m definitely travelling!

4. Social media presence

Honestly I’m not sure about this one? I don’t really spend much time on social media, but when I do, I post good stuff. Seriously, I probably share my journey once in a while. Look forward to that!

5. Business PROMOTION

Before you go, some shameless promotion: I’m helping my mother with her business. We retail a variety of disposable protective masks for daily wear. If you are interested, you can purchase them on Shopee!

Wish you all a Happy New Year!